Hanging up my laptop, for now UPDATED

© Bruce Allen  October 3, 2021

It’s race day. At what’s left of COTA, in Austin, the racing surface so bad there was talk of the riders boycotting the round. Maverick Vinales is absent due to the tragic death of his cousin? nephew? racing a motorcycle. Although your boy Fabio has the championship pretty well wrapped up, Bagnaia has finally started performing up to his potential and Marquez is showing renewed signs of life, so the 2021 race remains interesting. There has been a horde of young fast movers making their way into the premier class. Paging KTM and Ducati. Someone somewhere is comparing the average age of the grid in 2011 with the average today, discovering, no doubt, that the field is getting younger and, according to Methuselah, more reckless.

All of which is meant to distract you, the reader, from my decision to quit writing about MotoGP for now, as it has dropped sufficiently down on my list of priorities, since Nancy died in August, to make the work seem trivial, inconsequential, undeserving of my mental energy when I have so much else I need to think about. Sure, I intend to keep watching races and probably a few qualifying sessions just to keep my oar in the water. I need to maintain interest in my hobbies and avocations lest one of these doctors declares me clinically depressed. We wouldn’t want that.

I’m having some minor health issues–some hernias to repair, the sudden need for a crown on a back molar–and one serious one, in that I am no longer able to manage my blood sugar adequately with meds and will probably end up shooting up insulin, showing the younger grandkids how to tie it off, heat the spoon, the whole deal.

Part of my current problem is that I tend to come a bit unglued each day very early in the morning, at the time I used to do my writing about racing and a few other topics. I can’t type through my tears, which leads me to the edge of the journalistic abyss, questioning why I’m even trying to do this stuff when I feel so bad. I did some writing about Nancy a month ago and it made me feel absolutely no better.

My counselor says that until I can tell Nancy’s story without losing my shit I will not be on my way back to feeling normal. She says I should go to group therapy and practice telling Nancy’s story, over and over, every two weeks, until practicing doing so makes it easier to do actually get through it intact in the world. I’m going along with everything so my daughters don’t accuse me of being difficult or recalcitrant, which I’m usually not anyway.

I was going through the mail yesterday, doing fine, when I opened an envelope from American International Group which contained a check payable to me, the proceeds of the life insurance contract I insisted she buy years ago. It was, by far, the largest amount of money I’ve ever held in my hands. Despite the fact that I bought the policy before she was diagnosed, the fact that it paid a death benefit, to me alone, seems unfair and selfish. Imagine having had that money, money we could simply blow, back when she was healthy and vibrant. Back to Ireland and Spain, travel to Italy and Austria, Scandinavia, wherever.

So. On to just being a spectator and fan. For now. Once I get her ‘estate’ settled and get my health under control–in other words, when I have absolutely nothing to do–I may return to this site and grace you with my petulant observations. Perhaps in time for the season opener in 2022 under the lights. Until then, you must know that the only thing that has kept me doing this thing since Motorcycle.com broke up with me is you guys and your comments–sometimes prescient, always informed–telling me you enjoy my work. Otherwise, I might have been outta here last year. Anyway, thank you all for the kind words over the years and may the farce be with you forever.

Bruce stock photo 2021jpg

Top 10 Riders after COTA:

Quartararo 254* *mortal lock

Bagnaia 202

Mir 176

Miller 148

Zarco 141

Binder 131

M Marquez 117

A Espargaro 104

Vinales 98

Oliveira 92

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40 Responses to “Hanging up my laptop, for now UPDATED”

  1. Starmag Says:

    Thanks for the laughs Bruce. I hope you find resolutions for the issues you are dealing with. I’ve heard buying and riding motorcycles is good therapy. : 7 )

    May our paths meet again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mike Coleman Says:

    Bruce, I have never been where you are, my wife of 35 years is still ticking over, all I can say is to offer prayers and strength. Come back when you can, we’ll be here when you do.
    Old Mike
    In Ontario

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Michael Shooks Says:

    Thank you Bruce, always enjoy every word.

    Like

  4. dmensch Says:

    Be well, Bruce. Come back when you’re able!

    Average age of all riders listed in results on Wikipedia as of October 3 of that year:
    2011: 31.5
    2021: 28.0

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bruce Allen Says:

      Like in basketball, finish your session with a make. A bientot.

      Like

    • Starmag Says:

      Great relevant stat. You ARE a Mensch.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Bruce Allen Says:

        Rossi leaving could drop it by two years per rider by itself. Now it will be down to 26.

        Like

        • Starmag Says:

          The overall excuses about rear tires, Yamaha, etc., will fall precipitously as well.

          The upside is he won’t have to be afraid to race with Antman on the track. (his words).

          Judging by the ad hominim vitrol expressed by some “classy” Yellow Horde members as witnessed in racing comments sections elsewhere since Antman’s win yesterday, they are again in a bit of a panic that Antman will pass Methuselah in championships. I find it bizarre that they have tied their ego so tightly to a sports figure.

          Liked by 2 people

    • dmensch Says:

      Bleah. Found an error in my spreadsheet (or maybe I got a bad Bridgestone) :-p Corrected numbers plus+.
      I assume 2022 will go down a touch when Dovi’s teammate is announced.
      2022: 26.9 (Ages as of the first race next year)
      2021: 28.6 (All race participants)
      2021: 27.6 (Including only official team members, leaving out substitutions and test riders)
      2011: 31.2

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Allison Sullivan Says:

    I can’t even imagine what it must be like to lose a partner after all those years, and the physical and mental adjustments that have to come afterwards. Wishing you nothing but good things going forward. Hugs to you and your family.

    Like

  6. Konstantin Says:

    I will keep checking up if there are any new posts on this site. Looking forward to you Bruce coming back to it and wishing you well. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Vrooom Says:

    Totally understand Bruce. It does seem petty compared to losing the love of your life. I’ll keep checking for you though. BTW, I’ve been an insulin dependent diabetic since I was 9 years old, and am now in my mid-50s. It’s very manageable, you just have to watch the low blood sugars. Talk your insurance into an insulin pump with glucose monitoring if you can, skip the spoon! While we’ll miss your weekly updates, hoping you don’t miss us and can just get on with healing. All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. sillypickle7 Says:

    Thanks for the update, Bruce. We love ya regardless and totally understand the need to process and figure out what life looks like now. If that means eventually coming back to writing about MotoGP, great. If not, that’s great, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mad4TheCrest Says:

    Adding to the other commenters, with Whom I totally agree, I can only add: go and do what heals you and makes you happy on this earth, Bruce. I have wallowed in and benefited from your GP knowledge and great writing, but you are a person not a resource, and I will just have to cope without your writing. I’m told G&Ts help. Take Care, Bruce, and so long for now. If you find yourself in LA and itching for a ride, let me know.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bruce Allen Says:

      You are, as usual, too kind. I composed a nice little story in response and the WordPress monster devoured it. So glad there are at least a few people who get me. Cheers!

      Like

  10. Eduardo Gonzalez Says:

    Really enjoy reading you Bruce, your articles were, and are, real fun. Hope you can find your peace soon. I’m gonna miss this. But, always a but, your well being comes first. Thanks for all the good times. Take care.

    Like

  11. Old MOron Says:

    I had some computer issues and couldn’t reach this forum. Finally upgraded my machine’s operating system. This is not what I wanted to come back to, but I understand.

    Speaking for myself, I suppose we’re about as close as two internet jokers who’ve never met can be. You’re a good man, Bruce. You cannot be kept down. I suppose you’ll try for a while. That’s okay. But it can’t be done, not even by you.

    I’ll continue to check in here. I’ll do it because, well, because that’s what I’ll do. See you around.

    Like

  12. Bruce Allen Says:

    You have been one of the reasons I’ve continued this stuff for free, just to read your kind, occasionally unvarnished comments. You, knowing so much more than me. Me. learning on the fly from guys like you and Mad4 and Vroom and Buzz and all the guys who actually ride and race. Even Kevin Duke and John Burns. I am maintaining my annual video subscription and getting therapy and doing what I can to stay in this and any number of other games. You guys are just too much fun for me to, like, walk away. And who would you steal jokes from then?

    Like

  13. Old MOron Says:

    What a weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hanging up my laptop, for now UPDATED - Project Biker Gear Says:

    […] Marc Marquez, Moto, Moto2, Moto3, MotoGP. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own […]

    Like

  15. Starmag Says:

    MotoGp is mere circus compared to life’s difficulties. Still sending you good, good, good vibrations:

    I hope you are doing well.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Bruce Allen Says:

    Good to hear from you. Hope you and Mrs. Starmag are doing well.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Old MOron Says:

    One generation makes way for the next.
    That’s how Nature works.
    And the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
    Uh, with rare exceptions, only one of which I can think of right now.

    I hope you’re well, Brucey.
    I think several riders have been promoted.
    We’ll look forward to your insights next year.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Old MOron Says:

    Happy new year, Brucey and all.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bruce Allen Says:

      I miss you guys, I miss the conversations, I miss being regarded as an expert. I miss arguing with you guys and was always surprised that you read my work harder than I did. It has been a pleasure all along; it was never about money. Then life got in the way. Seems to be happening again. More later. I hope all is well with you and yours.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Old MOron Says:

        Sorry to hear it, Bruce. I suppose life always gets in the way – even when you’re doing what you want to do. I believe you economist call it opportunity cost. Oh well, that’s life. Use your resources wisely. Why do you think I keep coming back here!

        Like

  19. Bruce Allen Says:

    You keep coming back because of the toilet seat joke.

    Like

  20. Old MOron Says:

    Ten days to the first race weekend. Any plans, Brucey?

    Like

    • Bruce Allen Says:

      I’m due to be released from Indiana University Hospital this week after a three week engagement. On December 17th I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, four months to the day since the same disease took my wife Nancy. On February 2 they removed my spleen and pancreas. Complications ensued. My prognosis, for now, is good.

      I’ve been keeping an eye on racing since last fall. Going to need my Magic Eight Ball to make any predictions this season. Looks like it will be crowded at the top.

      For those of you concerned that I may have lost all my chops: Had I known that Nancy was contagious I’d have made her sleep in the other room.

      Ciao for now.

      RBA

      Liked by 1 person

      • dmensch Says:

        Very glad to hear your prognosis!

        This season it seems like the Alien list will be longer than the non-Alien list.

        Like

      • Old MOron Says:

        RBA, the B stands for Baller.
        Atta boy, Bruce.

        I think Baggy Eyes is going to be a force this year.
        I’ll be very interested to see how Dovi goes on the Yam. I guess he’s the old man of the field now. It will also be interesting to compare him to all the youngsters.
        Speaking of old, I hope Zarco gets his mojo back.
        And I can’t wait to see how Quarty goes with that big crown out in the wind.
        As for MM97, he’s a sight to behold when he’s unencumbered. If he is well, I look forward to fireworks. Otherwise I look forward to his retirement.

        Liked by 1 person

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